I think as soon as I became comfortable with anal sex, the idea of being doubly penetrated was on the table. I can’t remember though quite when or how that happened. (However, since I tend to do my own photos, I’m going to throw in I’ve not got comfortable enough to have photos on this post!)
It seems strange now, with easy access to every possible type of sex through the internet, that there was a time when anal sex was not part of a mainstream (plausibly) hetero teenager’s sexual lexicon. Not included in the possibilities of sex in a steamy romance novel.
Some of the girls in my secondary school were selling sex, and I remember becoming aware of anal as a way to have sex that couldn’t get you pregnant, which, in a Catholic school where rubbers were seen as akin to abortion, was important. Looking back, there is a type of nostalgia in remembering how I collected all these little pieces of knowledge and tried to put them together, trying to work out my own sexual identity.
From the age of 13, I would babysit with my sister for a number of families. One couple we regularly sat for would come home with a friend. Over time, we began to realize this friend was someone who shared their bed. There were no obviously unsettling after effects of this revelation to the core relationship, which seemed to function for parenting and other “normal” purposes, just that they were … well words like threesome, non-monogamous, kinky, adventurous even didn’t really trip off the tongue then. They were a little anthropology experiment I observed and thought about without talking about.
That exposure meant when opportunities for a threesome arose, I took them without fear, but as I was happily exploring the descriptor bisexual at this point, these were limited to fleeting f/f/m combinations. Not that there aren’t variations of DP available in this combo, but whether sexual inexperience or my preference for relationships that last more than an hour or two, I didn’t explore.
I’ve been with the lovely Mr Hunt for 17 years. So where does that leave me when it comes to DP?
The night we met, we were two thirds of a threesome. This is not the story we rolled out at our engagement party! It was everyone involved’s first opportunity for a m/f/m threesome and we took full advantage. It speaks to the sexual experience of the men involved though that certain parts were more awkward than others. They had seen porn of m/f/m sex, but the reality of where legs go and accidental contact were a limiting factor. I don’t really know if it helped that they were friends before and remained friends after, but it makes for some entertainingly semi-awkward moments at this point in our lives.
I enjoy being penetrated. The giving over of myself. And penetrative sex is not always about chasing an orgasm. Not all sex is for the same purpose, and, depending on where we are in our relationship and communication, I can be far more satisfied by being used than I am by being given or taking my own pleasure.
This is what appeals to me about DP.
We have many ways of achieving this with stunt double cocks that can be brought into play without adding a third into the mix, although we are not adverse to this in the correct circumstances.
The double penetration toys we have are all about the added sensation for the female partner, with the aim that missionary sex can become more interesting. They work best for us if we are feeling energetic and bendy, with my feet on his shoulders to allow for a rolling thrust, or with me on top. This is fun, but it doesn’t give me everything I want from a DP experience.
Everything moves at once based on whatever penetrative action you’re using, leaving little room for fantasizing there are three people involved. Also, the parts designed for anal stimulation tend to be a little dainty if you really like being fucked anally. (Finally, I have found something that makes me blush!)
Using a seperate dildo/plug gives me a better experience if we are going for a fantasy threesome. Again, just like a threesome, getting bodies into the correct placements can be a bit of an issue, especially if Mr Hunt is going to be driving the toys rather than leaving them passively in place. If I were a skinny slip of a girl then this might be easier, but built for comfort, not speed, means everything is a bit more of a reach and legs don’t fold out of the way as easily now as they did twenty years ago.
These are sexual experiences I would put into the mutual pleasure/chasing orgasms type of sex and sometimes that is exactly what we both want. The toys tend to signify that we are putting extra effort into the occasion, as opposed to a sleepy parental fuck at the end of a long evening. Silent of course, so we don’t disturb the kids.
Sometimes though, being used (or from his point of view, using me) is much more where we are.
With separate toys I like that we can go for double vaginal penetration. I like the stretch and feeling completely filled. Mr Hunt favours this as well, generally going for a toy with texture that he can really feel as he rubs along inside me. My inner submissive wants him to take what he wants, to get to orgasm using me as he might a masturbator. Being stuffed like this fulfills that need.
My favourite form of non-threesome DP doesn’t need toys, just good lube. His hand in my cunt and his cock in my arse. The control, and conversely the complete lack of control, needed to relax enough to take him like that. DP is a way for me to be completely surrendered to Him, but also to what we need from each other.
It’s taken a little while to get used to admitting that anywhere other than in my head.
In fantasy, there is still room for more. Room for Mr Hunt to take control of a DP situation with a living, breathing third, rather than a silicone friend, but that would need the freedom we had when we met, combined with the trust and experience we have now.
That is a story for next time…